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Earlier this evening in Philadelphia, two children were kidnapped when somebody stole their parents’ vehicle as it was parked while their mother ran into a residence in West Philadelphia. 

Thankfully, six-year-old George Hionas and his three-year-old sister Kaliopi Hionas were found safely inside their SUV at 61st and Passyunk Streets shortly after 9 p.m.

I was watching the local news tonight and Sgt. Charles Pettineo of the Philadelphia Police Department, who was the first on the scene, was allowed to be interviewed on camera. 

This doesn’t happen often enough.  A lot of times, a “spokesperson” will be thrust into the face of a camera at an announced press conference, to speak on behalf of the law enforcement parties.

Sgt. Pettineo was not only was the first on the scene, he spoke in his interview about diligently contacting dispatch to confirm the description of the suspect vehicle before calling it in as a positive.  The kids were crying when he arrived, and his actions not only served to save them but comfort them as well.  He deserved to be on camera for everybody to see his face and recognize a hero when they walk past him on the street.

This blog is full of sarcastic stupidity that only serves to appeal to people who enjoy that type of offensive stuff.  However, living in the Philadelphia area, especially in 2007, I have nothing but respect for the men and women in uniform.  Well done, Sgt. Pettineo.

Yes, if you’re having trouble logging into Xbox Live today, December 22nd 2007, it’s because there are confirmed reports of server downtime.  No estimate as to when it should be back up.

Go read a book or something!

Yesterday, J. Russell Coffey died at an old people care facility in Baltimore.  Coffey happened to be the oldest surviving person to have participated in World War 1.  Which doesn’t really mean much now because he’s dead. 

While some choose to glorify this man and those like him as heroes, I’d like to point out that if it wasn’t for the constant need of man to pick up a gun and shoot his enemy, we would not be living in a world where violence has become the norm.

World War 1 was the first step in a series of ego-building conflict exercises that culminated in the existence of a nation which felt it was invincible.  While slaughtering Nazis and dropping nuclear bombs on Japs, the collective head of the United States swelled and swelled like a teenager’s penis at the sight of an unclothed woman, in some cases his mom.   Save for a small misstep known as Vietnam, America was batting nearly perfect against the world!

These gross miscalculations and resulting swarm of fury across the Earth proved disasterous when some of these scorned souls flew our own planes into a couple of skyscrapers in downtown Manhattan.   The rest of the world was horrified – if only for but a moment.  The horror turned to “Well, violence begets violence” and the US’s track record of conflict does tell the tale.

It all started with WW1.  Which is why I say we should not honor those who participate in such violent contests of human tragedy, but rather quietly let them live out their lives like that one uncle who nobody invites to the holiday parties because he touches the kids.

Vivid Entertainment, the porn company that obtained a steamy sex tape of American Idol failure Jessica Sierra, has launched a website to promote its release in January.

The site, jshardcore.com, features a video clip just over a minute long you can preview after entering a valid email address.  In it, you see Jessica Sierra driving around commenting on various American Idol related stuff.  Later, she’s featured in what appears to be a hotel bathtub.  Finally, we get scenes of her blowing and getting fucked by some dude from a first-person camera angle. 

And she appears to call Carrie Underwood something mean at the very end.

The DVD is due out in stores January 30th, 2008, but I’m sure it will be leaked out online far before that.

If you Google Image “alycia lane bikini photo” you get a picture of Goatse.  Wowsers.

Alycia Lane is of course the extremely fuckable Fox Philadelphia evening news co-anchor.  She took the photos and emailed them to ESPN’s Rich Eisen, but his wife intercepted them, causing lots of drama and shit.

Yes, the war continues with this story out of Spokane, Washington in which a volunteer firefighter posing as Santa riding on a firetruck ‘sleigh’ was struck and knocked unconscious by an unidentified object thrown from the crowd of onlookers.

This comes on the heels of the Jewish woman accused of groping a mall santa in Connecticut and the family who was rescued after being kidnapped by athiests in California while looking for a Christmas tree in the wilderness.

It is quite clear that our country is being infiltrated by those who hate Christianity and will stop at nothing to obliterate the Christmas holiday and all that it stands for.  We must put an end to it.

Britney Spears called up West Hollywood celeb baby emporium Petit Tresor to order some mom and baby attire for her kid slutster, TMZ reports.  

Britney had the store pack a gift basket with a tank top with the words “Hot Mama 2 B” on it.  Also included was a blanket, a stuffed elephant with a white satin bow, onesies, socks and sneakers.

Here’s the best part;  Britney attached a note reading: “Dear J.L., We love you! Brit, Sean and Jayden.”

She should have at least had the presence of mind to include the real parent who is currently raising her poison offspring, Kevin Federline.  What a stupid bitch.